Do not go to COP my friend,
The UN will do you no good.
I’m an old man who has been there often,
And I’ll tell you what I should.

When they met in 92,
I was a kid, all starry eyed..
Who believed in all they said and signed,
Now I know they lied.

Since then they met again and again,
Fuelled with tax-squeezed money,
One of them told me nothing will change
And found us quite funny

Here we were, trying to insert words,
And move text inside and outside brackets.
Unwittingly, tiny helpless pawns in 
Humanity’s silliest rackets

Coffee was pricey, the bagels cold,
And the travelling hurt my planet
All for a tryst with the cold sterile ‘system’
That placed bet after bet after bet

Working groups, statements, draft texts
Ah! And those “closed door” sessions
Each draining faith drop by drop
And I finally learnt my lessons

That they won’t, they just can’t
Change is not really theirs to do
Nor can we count on them anymore
UNdecided, UNreliable, they can only UNdo

Once again they are planning to meet
And I pray that I’m wrong
But with these selfish bullying kids
It’s gonna take very very long

So do not go to COP my friend
Neither to lobby, to learn or to protest
Save your money, carbon credits and dreams
And don’t put your patience to test….