Three more Icelandic bankers including a chief executive have been given prison sentences as the country’s criminal investigations continue surrounding the crash of 2008. And this is no Resort Jail either! These are harsh Icelandic Prisons – which I imagine entail Worlds Strongest Man Magnús Ver Magnússon sitting on each banker’s chest while Bjork DESTROYS their ear drums!

Prosecutor Olafur Hauksson, said “Why should we have a part of our society that is not being policed or without responsibility? It is dangerous that someone is too big to investigate…”

Locking bankers away is exactly what the U.S. should be doing!! Putting criminal bankers – who have ruined SO MANY lives – in jail should be common sense. Why do we always have to look to the little-league countries to teach us how to behave?! Next Lithuania will have to remind us to wash our hands after we poop on them!

But of course it’s not JUST bankers. America’s biggest corporations run around with impunity, breaking laws left and right because the risk of being prosecuted is MINIMAL. It’s the same reason Justin Bieber pisses in public. What’s the worst that could happen?? He’s Justin f***ing Bieber!

And rather than fixing this problem, it’s getting WORSE. According to a new analysis of Justice Dept data, prosecutions of corporations have fallen by nearly A THIRD over the past decade! In 2014 according to the Intercept the number of corporate convictions by the Justice Department was 162 – far lower than the average under the Bush Administration.

Do you see why the two-party system is such a joke?! You would think Obama is the one who’s harder on corporations – at least compared to the Republicans. But it’s BULLS**T! Under EITHER administration the Justice Department treats corporations like FIRE FLIES! They go, “We got them!! ….But we don’t want to hurt them. …So let’s let them fly away!”

And then, in the rare occasion that one IS convicted – they almost always pay a fine and move on with their criminal enterprise. …Unless you’re that peanut butter guy. The former CEO of Peanut Corporation of America was recently sentenced to 28 years in jail for knowingly selling tainted product. That guy’s going to jail because he messed with our fu**ing PEANUT BUTTER! You can pollute us with Teflon chemicals – like Dupond did. You can fill our oceans with oil – like BP did. And we’ll shrug it off. But you mess up our peanut butter and we will CRUSH you! I mean, without peanut butter what the hell am I supposed to eat for breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner?!! NUTELLA?? MARMITE?! WHAT ARE WE BRITISH?! You stop eating peanut butter and before you know it, you’re watching soccer but calling it “football” and then you’re trying to undo your circumcision. That’s what comes next and you know it!

So at the end of the day, we need to start prosecuting these corporations in a real way. …I think that was my point